All Is Well
Posted at 12:38 PM

         My life is a mess. I realized this the moment I turned a senior in high school and applied six different courses, which I can't even completely remember each one anymore, in three different universities for my college education. I didn't know what I was doing back then. Well, I still have no idea what exactly I am doing right now. I just wrote down the first programs that popped in my mind in my forms and took shots with them. If I recall them correctly, these were Economics, Statistics, Business Management, Architecture, Engineering and Music.

 

         It turned out I chose to enroll a Bachelor's Degree in Music Education because maybe it felt good at that moment, maybe it felt right at that instance. I did finish the program on time but before I graduated I cross-enrolled a totally different course in Information Technology in a totally different institution. Don't ask me why 'coz I honestly don't know the reason as well. Maybe I felt bored, maybe I felt unsecured. To sum it up, I just wasted my parents' money and two semesters’ worth of my time. Don't get me wrong, I voluntarily dropped out even though I had A+ on my subjects and aced the international exams. Again, don't ask me why. Maybe I was always restless, maybe I was fatigued.

 

         I practiced my degree right after I graduated. I became a preschool music teacher in a private school, took the board exam, received my license and then resigned. Maybe I didn’t see myself being a teacher at the moment or maybe I just got restless.

 

         Right after I tendered my resignation, I took a shot in advertising: did a few projects, tried script writing and dubbing directing, went freelancing as a production assistant in TVC's and Music, and then quit in less than a year. Don't ask me why. Maybe it wasn't for me; maybe it's not my world.

 

         Bumming around for months, I tried and entered the popular BPO industry. I became a customer service representative and for the first time, I got tenured. I stayed in the same position for more than a year but it didn't take long before I took off again. Maybe it felt monotonous, maybe I felt unsecured.

 

         And then I enrolled into another program which is Accountancy. I went goofing around the campus like a first time college student, took my classes seriously this time, topped my exams, got a couple of my final grades to land in flat 1 and all the others to not less than 1.75. But it only took me two semesters to voluntarily drop out, unofficially this time. Don't ask me why. Maybe because the registrar screwed up my records and they want me to re-process every file from the previous university I went to or maybe I just got lonely; I had to spend my free time either alone in the library or alone in the car.

 

        I finally stopped and gave up thinking about my career path for a while. I took the time of my life, did some things I never did before, travelled to places I’ve never been to, crossed out a lot of bullets in my bucket list.. I lived my life. 

 

        This unlikely definition of living a life is unfortunately not possible for me because I had to stop the moment my bank account started screaming. I died and went back to reality.

 

        Responding to the needs of my trust fund, I resorted to go back to the most comfortable job I ever had. I was re-hired by my old BPO Company and surprisingly got termed in a week. This is what got me into pondering again.. Di kaya astronaut talaga ang dapat na profession ko?!

 

        It felt like I have wasted so much time and energy and it seemed like I have made all the bad decisions there is but I’d like to believe that everything happens for a reason. Although I still have no financial securities, I still have no plans for the future because I STILL haven't figured out what I wanna do for a living, plus I’m not getting any younger, yet I still have faith for a brighter future because God is in control.  

 

        Yes, my life is still a mess but I believe all is well.